Not So Great

Current Weight – 127lbs

Didn’t do so well today. I had a small yoghurt (petit filous) for lunch, threw that up. My family ordered a chinese for dinner and I had an enormous amount of food so threw that up as well. I promised myself I wouldn’t purge anymore but old habits really do die hard. I had a really difficult session with my psychiatrist today as I’ve just found out that a teacher who was at my school last year and who was innapropriate with me – he touched me, tried to take me home etc – has just been accused of abusing a position of trust to have sexual activity with a schoolgirl. It is in the newspaper and my psychiatrist thinks that I should give evidence.  He was supposed to be at court but had failed to turn up and it has supposedly happened to a lot of young girls where he has taught. I swear it is just one thing after another and I really don’t want to have to go through it all and have all of my school teachers knowing that it happened to me too. As if I don’t feel dirty enough without this, however, I do feel a huge sense of guilt over it as I think that if I maybe testified it may help him to be put away instead of doing it to more vulnerable, young girls. Like a sense of duty to the public I feel like I should but I can’t bear it.

Anyway, I hope you are all doing really well and I guess tomorrow’s another day so hopefully I won’t purge at all.

Lots of love



4 Responses to “Not So Great”

  1. Scarlett Says:

    So sorry for what you’ve been through, it sounds really awful. Hope things get better for you soon x

  2. Wonderful post! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us! Hope to read more from you!

  3. Is there any way that I can join this author’s fan club? Someone please e-mail me if you know how.

  4. questforhotness Says:

    Sorry to hear what you’ve been through – I can understand your feelings of not wanting to dredge it all up again but also the feelings of guilt as have a similar situation (although thank god no police involvement) where a teacher was physically abusive and found out he got fired. I feel bad as he was like that with me on a couple of occasions and maybe if I’d spoken up about it instead of keeping quiet, it wouldn’t have happened again…

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