A Little Mania..

  Current Weight – 117lbs

I was once that girl I remember. The little girl that I catch glimmers of in the glass. She is the real, the good and the pure. Her smile appears on my face as if she is reminding me that I was happy once and happy will I be again. The little girl I must protect. My past, present and future – my conscious and my subconscious. But I’ve altered into this new breed. The ill, insane, disturbed adolescent mind. A corrupted personality. What is going to happen to me? What am I going to become?

Thin.

This is my answer to myself. No other answer seems to suffice. Thin is what I must become to make me happy, to make me well. Although, deep down I know this answer is distorted, I can’t help but believe it to be true. I think this lack of food and sleep is what is triggering my mania. But I am losing weight whether I may be a tad mad or not. Always a plus side to everything. Hope all of you are very much content.

Love,

Jessica x

3 Responses to “A Little Mania..”

  1. That is exactly what I’m searching for, too- the happy little girl I once was. The confident little girl with no worries, no bad feelings, no stresses. You’re already on the path to finding the happy girl you once were. I’m just beginning. Hope you’re staying strong, and remember that the happiness you will find is worth the struggle now. xoxo

    • Trust me, I’m still only beginning, I have a very long way to go. At least we’re beginning rather than not starting at all as then we could just end up staying the way we are. I hope that we both find the happiness we deserve at the the end of this path, whatever it is x

  2. I feel exactly the same. I don’t want to grow up, I don’t want to change, no more than I already have. In fact, I would so love to reverse time and be back there when I was tiny and carefree. We WILL be happy, one day. Somehow we’ll find it. =)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: