Weight Falling..

  Current Weight – 103lbs

My weight is dropping too rapidly. I never thought that I’d say it but it is. I feel seriously ill and it is making my depression much worse. I can’t think coherently, I forget what I’m trying to say as soon as I start etc.. physically, I am so lightheaded that I keep fainting.  My vision will just go and I won’t be able to see anything but black. It scares me so much when I am grappling along the floor trying to reach the kitchen so that I can eat a peice of bread so that my sight returns. Once that happens, I go straight to the bathroom and purge the bread. Why??!  What am I doing to myself?! How much is simply the depression and how much is my eating? Or, lack of it. 

 I apologise for the slow delivery, it has taken me approximately half an hour to write this and I do hope it makes sense. Sorry to just moan but there has to be some sort of outlet for me.

Please free me from this nightmare.

Loads of love,

J

5 Responses to “Weight Falling..”

  1. Hey Jess,
    I know what your going through. I’m 5’7 (atm) 105lbs (binged/purged purged through exercising). Yesterday I was 102, I get chest pains and get the light headiness and DON’T even get me starting on the depression part man that FUCKING sucks. Trying to listen to what people are saying I can’t do that right now. Like yesterday I had a appointment with my psych and within an hour I forgot what she told me.
    HUGS and LOVE

  2. Just reading this my heart breaks for you. I know the chest pains & you try to ignore it, but there’s that other part of wondering “is this it?”. It sucks. I do admit everytime I have a meal- I still have those thoughts– i could purge this, no one will know… but I keep telling myself that I’m crazy. It’s like fighting a battle against yourself, like you’re watching yourself go through the motions and your body is in control. I hope you start to feel healthier though. <3

  3. I know what you mean the whole light headedness and the feeling like crap. It makes no sense. But you can’t stop. I’m glad someones numbers are going down. Feel better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: