Here We Go Again.

They have referred me to the ed services. I’m dreading it. My relationship has fallen through the floor, my thoughts have started to speed up again and my life feels like it’s literally falling apart. And guess what? I know exactly what to do when that starts to happen! Control my food. I have to start restricting again. It makes everything better (TEMPORARILY.. shhh). I’ll make it work. God, I wish I knew what to do to fix the shattered heart though. Give it time, a lot of time I suppose. I wish there was a quicker route, say like move to another country? Urghh.

I have fallen in love with a few songs recently that I keep repeating on my ipod over and over.  Sometimes, music is addictive. Jamelia by Caribou is one of those addictive songs along with the Frankmusik – Completely Me Acoustic album.

I’ve had a number of new subscribers recently and I was wondering if there were any topics that anyone would like me to talk about or discuss, or any information that you’d like, or any questions in general? Let me know :)


All my love,

Jessica x


“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

-Henry David Thoreau

9 Responses to “Here We Go Again.”

  1. Hey lovely,
    Good luck at the ED services. Sounds like things seem pretty crazy right now, and a bit stressful. I hope they sort themselves out soon so that this temporary stuff IS only temporary. I think time is the only healer for a broken heart though. =( *hugs* it’ll get better.
    Glad you’re back.
    Georgie xoxox

  2. Hi, going through your blog because I really need help with this. Ana I am but I can not stop eating. I feel sad for my mom. how it could happen. Any advice please.

  3. Jesus Christ can heal your broken heart, sweetie. He died not only for our sins, but to heal our illnesses and bring us peace. This is coming from someone who has dealt with depression and alcoholism and self-harm. Jesus saved me from all of it. I just had to let go of the control and trust Him to change me. He saved me from myself. He saved me from death and from the chains that bound me. And He can save you. He loves you and knows you. He is more powerful than the despair and pain that wrecks your dreams and emotions. He is stronger than the enemy battling for your soul. Jesus Christ paid the price for whatever you’ve done, and He won’t stop pursuing you until you see His love for you. He is a Bridegroom in search of a Bride. Say yes.

  4. 15 years living with bulimia taught me that me that my so-called “control” with food was anything but. It was manic, weak and frantic. I would think to myself “I may not be able to control the crazy shit that goes on in my life, but I sure as hell can control what I put in my body.” BS. It’s like you said…temporary and temporary isn’t a solution. When you’re ready, find someone who’s been where you are and is now where you want to be. Ask for help. You don’t have to live in the craziness anymore. Peace is possible.

  5. Hey, just leaving you a note to wish you good luck, whichever path you choose.

  6. Hey Jess
    Yeah how F’ED the HEALTH care system is in U.S. Canada in ANY country.

  7. I have this tatted on my rib cage.

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