Archive for mental-health

Better..

Posted in Ana, Mia & Moi with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 27, 2012 by PoisonedShadow

  Hi guys,

So, things are going really well at the moment. My love life is good, my friends are good, my education is good and my weight is getting there. I lost 5lbs last week and am hoping to carry on losing weight this week. Eating one small meal a day and exercising every other day seems to be doing the trick. The bonus is it’s not all that extreme and it’s working really well. I don’t feel overly tired or anything on just the one meal and the exercise I love, as I’m sticking to tennis at the moment. I did four hours of tennis yesterday and feel great today all though I am aching a little. Tennis is also great for toning your whole body. You only have to look at the female tennis players to see what amazing figures they have!

Thankyou to everyone who has posted comments recently and I will be replying asap. Hope you are all doing well and being determined!

Love,

Jessica x

 

“We never repent of having eaten too little.”

– Thomas Jefferson

Realisation.

Posted in Ana, Mia & Moi with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 21, 2012 by PoisonedShadow

  Realisation…

I’ve had some revelations/realisations. I am never going to have the life that I want and so desperately need. I don’t know how to accept and cope with that. Most have that quality, that essence which will enable them to find the love of their lives and to lead their own unique but still beautiful life. What happens when you don’t have that? That essence which will enable you to evolve into who you should be. What if you’re not quite right? What if there was a fault in the wiring of your brain? What if you’ll never quite fit?

I may work as hard as I can to change myself or try and accept myself as I am but neither ever seems to work or be enough. Maybe I’m simply not compatible with life. I crave so much all of the time. I crave to love and be loved in return. I crave for people to want me. I crave success and unattainable beauty. I crave to be braver than I am. I crave for people to say good things about me when I die and really mean them. I crave to not want to feel like I have to lie to make me seem brighter or more intelligent or to have to make up excuses for the unbearable being in which I am.

I hope I will find a solution in the near future but for now it would be greatly appreciated if I was written off and started again from scratch.

Jessica x

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.”                                       

– Henry David Thoreau

Hello World..

Posted in Ana, Mia & Moi with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2012 by PoisonedShadow

 Ok, so I failed miserably at attempting to post regularly. But there’s always a third time lucky eh? So what’s been going on in my life recently? Well, I’ve turned 19, I have a new psychiatrist that I see privately and costs a bomb, my meds to treat my bipolar have been upped and….. I have lost weight! Woop woop!

I’m now back down to 93lbs but am still trying to lose more. Sticking to 300cals a day seems to be working well along with making those 300cals really healthy. I’m sorry to all the people who have left comments and I haven’t replied as I haven’t been on here in a while. I will make sure I reply to all your messages asap.

Loads of love,

J x